Monday, November 19, 2012

Successful student samples - Unwind Essay

A REALLY NICE INTRO PARAGRAPH:
This issue of pro-life versus pro-choice is made prominent in Neal Shusterman’s Unwind as three teens fight to save themselves from their inevitable fate. Lev, in particular, undergoes many changes as he wonders about his path and the role he is meant to play in the world. First, Lev changes himself in the way he struggles with his feelings about his tithing. Also, Lev changes Connor by changing Connors view of tithes. Finally, Lev changes the Happy Jack Harvest Camp by refusing to comply with their ideas and morals. Therefore, Lev changes his views on tithing, Connor, and the Happy Jack Harvest Camp.
A BODY PARAGRAPH SAMPLE THAT LOOKS PRETTY SOLID:

First, Connor changes his old ways of being a rebellious teen into being a leader. When Connor is uprooted from his everyday life of being with his girlfriend Ariana or getting into fights, Connor realizes that it is time to grow up into something bigger than himself. Connor realizes that, “Holding his temper in that bathroom was perhaps the hardest thing Connor had ever had to do” (153). Instead of being someone who does not think and just goes with his emotions, Connor is learning that his previous ways of coping with problems are not beneficial and it is time to think. Connor also changes himself when the riot begins in the Graveyard and he is thrown into the position of being the person that everyone is going to respond and listen to. He stands up and listens to Hayden and he controls the group. Finally, Connor controls his temper when he is being led to the Chop Shop. He does not fight back or yell, Connor decides that he is going to die as Connor Lassiter, not just an Unwind. Clearly, this shows that instead of being a rage-filled teenager who has no authority, Connor is going to change himself into someone who can lead and be respected by people.

A PRETTY GOOD INTRO THAT JUST NEEDS AN ATTENTION GETTER:
Neil Shusterman’s Unwind shows three character’s endeavours on their journey to being unwound. Connor changes from being rebellious to being a leader. First, Connor changes himself by improving his self-control. Also, Connor changes the other unwinds in the Graveyard by becoming a leader when no one else does. Finally, Connor changes society by being the “Akron AWOL”and giving others hope for getting out alive. Therefore, Connor changes his own power of leadership, the children in the Graveyard , and society as a whole.

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